Marriage preparation class (Part 2) - the relationship personality?

yesterday during MPC, we did a compatibility test. the results won't be out till next week but statistics showed 1 out of 2 couples whose results showed they were not "suitable" for each other end up in divorce within the first 5 yrs. At first, it sounded like the test was going to magically predict whether our personalities were suited for each other n bla-bla-bla... at least that was how i thought when i first heard of it, i thought it'd be more of an analysis of our individual personality and temperament (having done a few individual temperament tests during this course) and how compatible we could be. So of course I was skeptical! turns out that the questions, which we answer how much we agree with each statement, were like the following:

"The time I spend with my partner are the best time ever"
"Nothing is going to change my love for my partner"
"We have discussed how many children we will have after marriage"
"We have discussed how much money we will spend after marriage"
"We have discussed how to split household responsibilities after marriage"
"I am completely comfortable with sharing my negative feelings with my partner"
"I enjoy spending time with some of his friends/family members"
"I have a number of good qualities"

Obviously most of the questions were more about how the "quality" of the relationship, important issues that should be discussed before marriage, and to some degree, the individual's self-esteem, than the personality of the individual. So yea, then it makes more sense cause it measures how "ready" the couple is to make the marriage/relationship work out.

The instructor (who's also my pastor) said he and his wife still attend marriage enrichment "lessons"/workshops, despite being married for more than 10 years and having 2 children. He admitted the lessons bring him new insight and serve as a reminder never to be complacent about his marriage. I thought it's really interesting cos I come from a typical Chinese family where very little is mentioned about relationships and marriage. Sometimes I think my family is a little dysfunctional, considering the fact that my dad pays very little attention to the lives of his wife and children. One very odd evidence is the fact that he never remembered the name of my ex of 4 yrs... 4 yrs, and after i broke up, he asked "u're not together with the FRIEND of yours liao?" He's either forgotten my ex's name, or doesn't think his name is worth mentioning.

I'm not blaming my dad for anything, this is just him - and I'm sure this is rather common among Singaporean families - very little mushy things r said, and matters of the heart r seldom discussed. In fact, we had attend MPC to learn non-offensive ways of communicating our emotions to our partners... some of the "students" expressed how some of the things we learnt in class felt awkward and impractical, and came to a consensus that this would not have been necessary if our culture encouraged open expression and acceptance of differences.

But no our culture is ridden with fear - fear of not being accepted, fear of losing, fear of being punished/fined, fear of losing control, fear of being different... Many people I know refuse to acknowledge the usefulness of MPC or even counselling, but in a society as disfunctional and fearful as this, it's very useful to remember, "Pride comes before a fall" and there's nothing wrong with accepting some help along the way.

Admittedly, I have quite a bit of pride in the way I do things, and it sucks to be corrected during MPC. Having to learn new ways of "communication" seems a little silly and even unrealistic, but then at the end of the day, it gets a lot easier for me and him if I just lose my pride and adopt a more teachable attitude - because, losing a bit of face is a small price to pay, if I can gain a better relationship. I wanna become a better person, so I can be a better girlfriend/wife.